WOMEN FART IN THE TOILET and other truths my mama told me

Just got the brain focused on writing all the truths and funny sayings my mother always would say down to share. What do you think. She had quite a life and was majorly vocal about it all -- some of it down right on the floor laughable - other things would make your heart ache and tears flow. I am in the process of fleshing it all out and getting it down on paper. Here is the opening thoughts......

Mama always said "Life was like a box of chocalates, You never know what your gonna get"............we all know that famous line from Forrest Gump. When I say this movie I knew someone was channeling my mother - in a good way, cause I remember my mamaisms well and if she would have a hand in writing that line it would have went something like this: Life is like a steaming bowl of (you can insert the appropiate euphemism here), It smells, looks and taste just like you think.

Direct, to the point and with no pretense or misconception. Mama said what she thought and meant what she said. Which some thought was not always a good thing. Seeing as mama had a way of letting you know if you were worthless or worth something, but hey, isn't the direct approach always the best. Even if the brutal honest of the answer could leave you crying for days on end, feeling useless and worthless and lets face it less then human.

God I miss her!

That is the opening - Can I get some feedback as to what you think?/ And how to proceed from here??